Saturday, July 31, 2010

My adventures in online dating: episode 7


File this one under cheesy and dumb.

hey how are you?

So I am guessing you love Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia?


Yes, I live in Philly, but seriously, does that mean all the people in California love Californication? Sometimes, people are weird

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

The Joy of the Pelt


Back in the day.... and yes, I am using that phrase to reference the 1970's... Men were HAIRY. Just look at Burt up there. Frankly, I think he's sexy as hell. Yes, I admit that I prefer my male sexual partners to trim their public hair, but that's mainly because I enjoy sucking their balls, and it's easier to deep throat without 2 inches of hair going up my nose. However, other body hair is a completely different story. Personally, I generally think, the more the better.

Granted, I am fully in support of people who shave for various reasons. I had on sex partner who was very fair skinned with about a dozen multi directional hairs in the middle of his chest. He found shaving it to be easier. I also know a guy who's hair only grows on one pec, so he shaves it, again, I totally understand that. Finally, they're not really my type, but I also get body builders who shave for competitions to better display muscle definition.

That said, I HATE this metrosexual, manscaping thing that has taken over our men. If I wanted to lay on a hairless chest, I'd be having sex with a woman. A, one of the sexiest men I dated was of Persian decent. He was hairy pretty much from head to toe. However, he was self conscious about it. The first time he disrobed in front of me, he apologized. Frankly, I find this just as ridiculous as a woman feeling the need for apologizing for not having a completely hairless pussy.

Hair is natural. Body hair is one of the defining characteristics of being male. Desiring men to have no body hair is resigning them to look like little boys. Gay men have an entire subset of men that both love and embody this idea (bears and otters and sexiness oh my!) but straight women haven't really done this. Are their fetish sites out there for women who want to see hairy men? I don't think so, but I'd love to know if there were.

Laying next to a guy who has a a good amount of chest hair was always one of my favorite things about sleeping with men. I used to really enjoy the feeling of chest hair against my skin, it also reduced that stick to each other feeling where after laying together when you get up and it feels like getting off a leather couch with bare skin. It's warm, it's soft, and it's just hot to be able to grab someone's chest hair in ecstasy. My roommate also pointed out the fun of the difference in texture with hair vs. skin, saying there is so much more than you can do with hair as compared to skin.

So can we just do away with the manscaping now guys?

Monday, July 26, 2010

Grooming Part 1: To shave or not to shave.


Pubic hair is a fact of life. After puberty, everyone's got it, but watching most mainstream modern porn, you get the impression that women are completely hairless from the neck down. Even the landing strips and small patches that were big in the nineties have gone the way of completely bare vulvas (Random aside, my computer isn't recognizing vulvas, if that's not the pural what is? Vulvae? Vulvi? Anyway...). It seems then, that pubic hair, outside of bush fetish websites, has been declared (like the internet) over.

The problem with that is, women are not, in fact, hairless, and to add to that getting your vulva as baby smooth as they look in mainstream porn is almost impossible. Even freshly shaven, one chill and you're left with a stubbly, usually painful, mess. (Which has always made me wonder if they keep porn sets warmer for just that reason. Anyone know?) The average girl has very little hope of looking quite as smooth as the average porn star, and has very little incentive to do so, yet, somehow, men have come to expect or demand it.

While I find this expectation ridiculous, to be honest, I kind of get it. The vulva is hot, I like looking at it, and being able have a completely unobstructed view is fun, and I really enjoy sucking on bare outer labia. However, in the end, I neither demand or really want my lover to keep themselves clean shaven. I've had my face rubbed raw by a girl who had shaved earlier that day but already had stubble, and have had the experience myself of stepping out of the shower, getting a chill, and ruining the just shaved smoothness.

The first time I shaved, I did it because P, my first boyfriend, requested it. He had a lot of experience, and I was a virgin at the time. I shaved because I felt like I needed to "keep up," like I was competing with all the girls that had come before me. It was a pain, and I never really liked it, but I kept up with it because somewhere in my head, it's what I was "supposed" to do, or what I "should" do. When I finally broke up with him, I found myself much more comfortable just letting it grow, but eventually it would start to itch when it was too long. Finally I bought a cheap hair trimmer and found happiness in shortly trimmed but not actually shaven hair. It allowed for plenty of viewing, but didn't hurt or itch and didn't result in ingrown hairs. I have generally found that I enjoy it in my sexual partners as well. Trimmed hair usually ends up softer then shaved, yet it's short enough to not go up my nose or get caught in my mouth during oral sex.

That said, pubic hair stylings are completely personal, and everyone is welcome to their opinions, I just encourage you to make your decision based on YOUR personal feelings, not any sort of obligation, expectation, or pressure, not that of society, a significant other, or a sexual partner. With that kiddies, I sign off, as always, saying if you don't know, ask, and if you're unsatisfied, give directions!

Saturday, July 24, 2010

My Adventures in Online Dating:Episode 6


Received the following instant message the other day.... I'm going to let it speak for itself. (Note, my profile says I like geeks)

im a geek but im hung like a chinchilla

dealbreaker?


Seriously?


(P.S. I so want a chinchilla now.)

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Review: Bum buddies


Sex toy online store sent me the Bum Buddies Rear End Rapture Butt Plug in Intermediate by Adam and Eve Toys. Yeah, yeah, dumb name, I know, but give the toy a chance.

When I got the toy, my heart fell a little bit. This is once again an instance of my eyes being bigger then my ass. I swear, I do read the specs on these toys, but in my head, they're always smaller then they are when they show up. However, this toy is nice. The silicone feels velvety and has just a bit of give. I love the feel of it, I love squeezing it, and kind of want to rub it on my cheek. However, this love the the toy doesn't actually translate to me loving the toy inside me.

I tried everything, lots of lube, (water based of course), getting off first (once then more then once), and spending time warming myself with fingers first. It didn't work. I only managed to get the entire toy inside me twice, and since there wasn't much of an indent before the base, as soon as I got it in, it would just pop right back out again. I would be fine with holding the toy in play if I didn't, you know, need my hands to be doing other things to get me off. However, I did try just putting the smaller tip of the toy and masturbating with just that in, and that was good, as I generally enjoy something in my butt while I use a toy in my vag. Again, this toy wasn't for me, but I think with some more time, patience and work, it probably could be. (I'll just add that short stubby arms are not ideal for someone who likes to play with their own butt.) I also am really looking forward to using this toy with a partner. I have more patience when I'm with a partner, I'm also not all tense from being contorted into an uncomfortable position. I could see really enjoying this toy in my butt while I have vaginal sex with a partner. Unfortunately, at the moment, I have no way of testing this theory, but if I do, I will be sure to give everyone an update.

Now, the run down, first, the things I liked about this toy

1.The packaging. This first plus took me by surprise, I saw the picture online and thought, it would be just another toy a picture of a half naked girl, a bar code, and that's it, but if you ignore the cheesy ass picture on the front, the packaging of this toy is great. There is TONS of info on there! It states right on the front that is it phthalate and latex free, it outlines care instructions, reminds you to use water based lube, and suggests you try heating or cooling it. Impressive, Adam and Eve toys, now get rid of the naked girl on the front and you would be perfect.

2. It's silicone. Who doesn't love silicone? It's soft, it has some give, which is the main thing my other favorite material, glass, doesn't have. It's easy to clean (dishwasher, top rack, sans soap, 10% bleach solution, boil for 3 minutes), phthalate free, and has a nice soft feel to it. Just remember that you can't use silicone lube with it, or it will break down your toys. Since it's made for anal play, make sure you get a good, high quality, thick WATER BASED lube. I like Maximus, but any kind you like is fine.

3. It has a nice slight curve to it. It, for the small amount of time that it was fully inserted, it felt nice against my G spot. I'm really anticipating using this toy with a partner, since I think if I could have this toy in while having sex, it would feel AMAZING.

The only main thing I didn't love about this toy is the size. Honestly, I'm impatient when I masturbate. I cum really quickly, so the idea of warming up my ass, getting the toy in, and the clean up all taking considerably longer then it took for me to get off doesn't seem worth it. Mainly, this is because I'm the quickest, no nonsense masturbator ever. I get in, get off, get out, and am back to how I started in about 10 minutes. Like i said, this isn't the case when I'm with a sex partner, and I feel like this toy would be much better suited for that, for me.

However, I think that shouldn't discourage those who are looking for slightly bigger butt plugs, since I recommend the toy as a whole. If you'd like to buy this sex toy or any of their other anal toys, head over to sextoy.com.

Monday, July 19, 2010

PSA: Condom Lube Alert!!!!!


I was reading through my blog reader, and an interesting post from Feminists with Female Sexual Disfunction. The author, K, wrote to both Durex (for some reason I can't find their non- latex, Avanti condoms on their website) and Lifestyles about the respective companies non latex condoms. Both companies replied that the lubricant used on both brands is silicone based.

I hate the fact that I'm allergic to latex. It narrows the selection of condoms I can use severely. There are no non latex equivalents to the Magnum the infamous larger condom. While I've generally been fine using regular non latex condoms (though not Trojan brand) with the larger guys I've been with, the fact that I can't buy any of those flavored or textured or whatever other kinds there are out there. All I really have is a choice of brands, and of polyurethane or polyisoprene. (Really, for me, there's no contest, polyisoprene is far superior and is what is used by pretty much every brand except Trojan.) However, with this new information, I'm annoyed all over again. There are not non lubricated, non latex condoms. However, the lubricant on these condoms is damaging to my strap on, and most of the toys I have that I share with my sex partners.

It seems like this just means that the makers of condoms disregard the needs of those who practice safe sex while using toys. Silicone is pretty much the premier material for sex toys. Almost every sex toy I own is silicone, and if I want to share them, I use condoms on them. Now I honestly don't know what I'm going to do. I know I can sanitize my toys, but I like the option of being able to use the toy on both myself and my partner in the same session. I honestly don't really know what I'm going to do. Probably use the condoms that I know are breaking down my toys, rather then not practice safe sex. I'm just pissed and frustrated that it's even a decision I have to make.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

My Adventures in Online Dating: Episode 5

So there I am, sitting on the dating sight when there, in my matches in the side bar I see it. My stomach drops. It's B. The girl I dated, the girl I was pretty sure I was going to marry, the girl who dumped me because SHE'S STRAIGHT.

She can only show up as one of my potential matches if she has on her profile that she likes women. I click over, I have to know, and yep, she's listed as bi. Honestly, I don't know what I feel. I'm angry- "Is she going to just do to some other girl the same thing she did to me?" I'm hurt- "Did she lie to me? Was it just me?" I start myself on the little death spiral of negative thoughts that generally ends with me ending up a spinster with 20 cats and no friends.

I let myself wallow for a minute, I shook myself off, picked the option to hide her from my matches, and I haven't really though of it much since. This is called progress right?

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Revealing Yourself

I've been planning a blog post about "coming out" to dates for a while now, but then something amazing happened. I actually got asked out on a date. This doesn't happen to me very often. I'm pretty shy in person and am generally oblivious that people are hitting on me until way too late. I have mild social anxiety, so I have a hard time introducing myself to people or initiating conversation with someone I don't know, which is exactly why I started using online dating. It allows me to essentially "introduce" myself to hundreds of people without actually having to make that move in a bar/club what have you.

One of the main reasons I like online dating is that I can put all of my potential "problems" out there right up front, so I don't have to worry about people not finding me attractive, or not liking me being kinky or poly. I've had people dump me for such things, and flip out at me for not telling them earlier.

So anyway, I was asked out by a girl who has no idea of my "reputation." She doesn't know about this blog, she doesn't know I'm poly, and she has no idea that in my spare time I enjoy tying up and beating the crap out of people. Now that I think about it, it's pretty probable she thinks I haven't slept with a man in years.

So when do you talk about these things? How do I tell her. Do you wait until you know if you like them and risk losing them over it? Do you tell them right off the bat? I had plans of writing answers to these questions, but honestly, I'm not really sure. I haven't dated someone who I met organically and I didn't talk to extensively online first since before I was all those things. So what do you do? Who knows, but as long as your honest (if someone asks you, don't lie. EVER) and respectful, no one can blame you for being who you are. In the end, if you lose someone for anything you have to "come out" about, they probably weren't right for you in the first place.

In praise of the average penis

So in the course of my sexual escapades, I can't tell how many times some guy, in an attempt to get me to sleep with him, or sleep with him sooner has told me that he has a huge penis like this is supposed to be some magic phrase that makes me drop my pants and bend at the waist instantly. It's something that has always irritated me, because frankly, you're more likely to incite me with telling me how distinctly average you are.

I've played with a decent number of penises in my life, from a little below average to well above, the fact is, they're pretty much interchangeable. I'm easy to get off, I want penetration, but I don't need to feel full. Most guys can get the job done, I don't see what the big deal is.

I've had a few run ins with boys who had notably large penises and it has never actually been that pleasant of an experience. First was with J. I went on one date with him, and ended up back in my room with him. He was about my height (I'd give him 5'4 at most) and when he took off his pants, his cock I swear was almost down to his knees. He couldn't keep it hard in a condom, I had just gotten on when it started to go soft. Of course the second the condom was off he was rock hard again and trying to convince me to do it anyway. I refused, so in total got about 1 minute total penetration.

The second guy whose penis stopped me in my tracks was G. For those of you that follow my twitter feed, G was the rope bondage/porn/nyc/spanish hottie I hooked up with for a while who I met through the blog. He made no claims about penis size, but sent me a naked picture of himself before we met. I called my roommate into the room and demanded confirmation of what I was pretty sure was the biggest dick I'd ever seen outside of porn, he confirmed it and frankly I was a little scared.

I've never really considered myself a size queen, but I was kind of excited to have sex with him, since there is an entire urban mythology surrounding huge penises. However, when we finally started having sex, his penis size was always a problem, not a blessing. I couldn't ride him, I couldn't deep throat him,trojan non latex condoms didn't fit him, and unless he held back an inch or two, every time he would thrust, I would get stabbed in the cervix or spleen. The worst part was I really liked him, but having sex with him always had to be tentative and careful. We couldn't just let go and be rough, which meant sex with him, regardless of how much I liked him, was always lacking.

So seriously guys, stop it. Stop the bragging, stop the insecurity, stop making a huge penis the holy grail of manliness, because honestly, I'll take average any day.

So that's it for today kiddies, as always, this is cleofaye saying if you don't know ask, and if you're unsatisfied, give direction!

Monday, July 12, 2010

Review: Ben Wa Balls

In the first batch of sex toys I was able to chose to review from Sextoy.com I also chose a set of ben wa balls by California Exotics. I'm slightly obsessed with Kegel muscles and exercising them. It's good for you in general, and I've been over that before so I won't go into too much detail, but I'm always looking for a good exerciser that I can use anywhere (not the kind you have to lay in bed to do.)

My first experience with the ben wa balls was, to be honest, forgettable. I put them in, no problem, being glass and me always being at least slightly wet, they slid in easily. However, once they were in, I couldn't feel them at all. i did jumping jacks, I ran errands, I sat, laid down, tried every position I could think of, and I couldn't feel them inside of me. However, this was a few months ago when I was getting laid way more then I am now. When I tried again more recently, the experience was a little different. When I first put the ben wa balls in, I could feel them in a pleasant, full, way. However, once they worked their way farther up, I once again couldn't feel them.

Taking them out was an... interesting experience. First, I would suggest taking them out sitting on the toilet, since flexing those muscles and pushing will totally make you pee. Also, I put them in and forgot about them, and almost lost it down the toilet when I started to pee. However, occasionally they would be very far up and take a bit of pushing and fishing with my fingers to get them out. This was both a good thing, as it gave me an actual workout, but I have a bit of an imagination, and whenever they were difficult to get out, I would have visions of my roommate having to get them out, or a not so fun trip to the doctor. Like I said, I have an active imagination.

So the breakdown of the toy, cause we all know how I like my lists...
1. They're cute. I'm not very girly, but something about these just made me really happy. How can you not love little purple butterflies in glass?

2. They're glass. Yes, I love glass, yes we've been over this, but the quick rundown of why it's great, they're durable, they're smooth, easy to clean/sanitize (top rack of dishwasher sans soap, 10% bleach solution, or boil for 3-5 minutes), and it requires very little lube.

However, in the end, this just wasn't the toy for me for one main reason, they were too light. They didn't really give me an adequate workout like I was looking for, or at least a feeling for fullness. However, I would recommend them for someone who is looking to start out with an easy Kegel exerciser, just make sure you're comfortable having to fish them out. If you're looking for this, or one of their many other dildos or toys head over to Sextoy.com. Thank you sextoy.com for giving me the chance to review these ben wa balls.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

My Adventures in Online Dating: Episode 4

So I made the switch not long after I put the blog on hiatus, that I wanted to stop looking for casual sex online and start looking for dates instead. Sadly, changing my profile to reflect this hasn't really affected my messages in the way you would think.

I recently got a message from someone who's picture is of a cat, doesn't have pretty much any info on his profile except that his is a "well hung black stud" who "guarantees discretion." He also made some vague reference to his "situation" so I'm guessing he's got a girlfriend at the very least. Sadly enough, he actually took the time to write a message, which means he read my profile, saw no mention of wanting casual sex on there, and decided to message me anyway. Really? HOW DO THEY KNOW???? (I mean, it was shady as hell, and I wouldn't have replied anyway but I swear they can sniff me out)

Also, if you're enjoying these rants, I found this site www.okcupidkillme.tumblr.com. These guys put mine to shame.

Don't forget, if you don't know, ask, and if you're unsatisfied, give direction!

Friday, July 9, 2010

Rape Culture

So I'm usually not one to react to other bloggers I see around the interwebs. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and even if I think the opinion is hateful, who am I to change someone's mind. I just sit here at my computer and I blog MY opinion, and I hope that it can be a voice heard over the din for people who need it.

However, I woke up this morning to a shit storm on my Twitter stream (by the by, come follow me). Britni wrote a post about getting sexually assaulted at a night club recently. That sparked a reply post over at view from the floor. That spurned a whole string of replies in the sex community. First I want to say that I'm not friends with Britni. We've had a few exchanges online, but we don't really know each other, so this has nothing to do with friendship,(Not that there would be anything wrong with it if it did) this is about the assumptions that allow society to sit back and blame women for male actions. It's ridiculous, and it has to stop.

The fact is, Britni is young, thin, and cute. She wears short skirts and high heels. She writes and talks about sex openly and honestly (God forbid). She's gotten catcalls and been harassed and people just say, well, you should know better. It's victim blaming at its finest.

What exactly are we, as women, as victims of sexual assault, or rape, or harassment, supposed to do, exactly? What are we supposed to "know better" than to wear? Are women not allowed to be young, thin, and cute, because that's not exactly something we have control over. Are we not allowed to drink because then we'll throw ourselves at someone and they can't tell the difference? Are we not allowed to be around any man who drinks, because they can't control themselves? We can't wear skirts above the knee because men look at us and become animals?

The fact is, it doesn't matter what we do, victim blaming is universal. Even if you've done "everything right" you still must have been putting out signals. I was a good little girl for a very long time. I was a virgin until 20. I didn't dress provocative. I made it clear I was uninterested and frankly could be a huge bitch doing so. I wasn't this young thin ideal. Yet when I came home from my first boyfriend's house wearing a tank top and pajama pants instead of the work uniform I had gone out in, my mother told me I looked like a whore and I was asking to be raped.

Later, I was raped by my boyfriend, I spent a long time calling it other things: "pseudo rape", "the incident" anything to keep from admitting it was rape. When he started to cry and feel guilty, I let him blame me, let him tell me I asked for it, because I felt like it was my fault. I had internalize so much of the rape culture hate that even though I was a virgin when it happened, even though I had told him I wasn't ready for sex, even though I had said no when he started to penetrate me, I was convinced I had "asked for it." Posts like the one in response to Britni just bring me back to that sad, self hating place.

I, we, as women, should be allowed to wear what we want, we can do what we want and we not fear that we are inviting someone to rape us. (Quick aside, when searching for the duke case, when you type in "duke lacrosse team" the auto complete suggest scandal, incident, case, controversy, and charges, but not rape, figures). This assumption that men are under evolved morons with no impulse control is insulting to all men out there. Men know what rape is. They are capable of controlling themselves. They are not actually dicks and no brains, and the idea that we are supposed to treat them like they are is both insulting to them and exhausting for us. All men are not rapists. I'm going to go out on a limb and say the majority of men are not rapists. Most men are thinking, feeling, empathetic human beings who don't think a women is theirs for the taking. Don't insult them and us by saying they can't handle seeing a pretty girl in a short skirt, or like they said in my high school, boys can't be exposed to bare shoulders, they will be unable to concentrate on their work. Let's give the boys a little more credit then that, so we can single out the douche bags who are rapists and give them the blame and hate they deserve.

So that's my little rant ladies and gentlemen. Be good to each other and yourselves, and I'm signing off reminding you, if you don't know, ask, and if you're unsatisfied, give direction.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Review: Melon Crank


I signed up as a sex toy reviewer for Sextoy.com and I was really excited when I got the first list of sex toys for possible review. I was like a little kid in a candy store.... there were so many things to chose from. I the first thing I picked was this Clear Nubby Melon Crank by Don Wand. Ever since seeing a crank glass dildo on Real Sex 27 (which unfortunately I can't find a decent link to, but you can occasionally still find the show on HBO on demand, and by the by, I actually recommend you watch it. If you can get past the very nineties hair and clothes you'll see that show was amazing. It was my first exposure to most the kink/sex positive community)I have always wanted one, so when I saw one up for review, I jumped at the chance.

I used this toy in every different way I could think of, I put it in my butt, I put it in my vag, I put it in the DFB's butt, and I had him put it in my vag. Separate occasions, because we know putting something in our vagina after it was in someone's (even our own) butt is asking for a problems right? right, moving on... I have to say, while I like everything about this toy in theory, it just wasn't exactly for me. First, a fun down of all the things that are fab about this toy.

1. It's glass. I've waxed poetic about how much I love glass before so I won't go into too much detail but, it's easy to clean, easy to sanitize (boil for 3 minutes, 10% bleach solution or top rack of the dishwasher(no soap)), and requires very little lube. It's my go to material for toys, but as always, that's a personal preference. Also my main compliant with using glass toys with partners(it's rigidity) is made moot by the lack of thrusting with this toy.

2. It's got loads of texture. The head is ribbed, the shaft and base have nubbs that are big enough that you can feel them, but not so big as to be irritating. Since it is spun instead of thrusted, this texture leads to some interesting sensations... which leads me to my next pro...

3. It HAS A CRANK PEOPLE! This was the whole reason I bought this toy, the crank. I loved the idea of having a toy spun inside me with texture to make me cum. It didn't disappoint. When it was in either my pussy (where the DFB could spin it really fast) or in my ass (where the spinning was slow and the sensation more intense) I really enjoyed the feeling. I'm finding it hard to articulate exactly, but I usually enjoy the thrusting motion when I use a dildo, but with this, I didn't thrust at all, just spun and the sensation felt more widespread and pleasant as opposed to the localized and intense sensation of hitting the g spot. With just the spinning and playing with my clit, I was able to cum, which almost always requires thrusting for me. It was definitely different and made the sensations interesting and fun. Who doesn't like feeling something new?

4. It's cheap. (in price, not in quality)It's true, I didn't pay for this toy, but I'm kind of a miser, so I'm always looking out for my readers in that regard. Who has 70 bucks to plunk down for a toy? This one is 18 bucks at Sextoy.com. You have to love affordablity.

Now I don't want to call the rest cons, because I don't think they're cons, they're issues I had with the toy, but that were specific to me.

1. It's big. I'm not a size queen. My go to toy for getting myself off it less then an inch in diameter at it's widest point. I know that this toy is only listed as a "small to medium" anal toy, but for me it, at 1 and a half inches in diameter, it was the largest toy I've ever had. It took a lot of warm up and work to get the toy in my butt, and honestly, I'm not patient. I like something I can put in after just a minute or two of lubing up and being fingered. That said, once it was in, it was a good full feeling and didn't feel TOO big. The DFB took it much easier then me, and really enjoyed the size, so again, that's just something I'm still working on.

2. I couldn't use it sitting. I masturbate sitting up, usually watching porn on my computer. Because of the size, I couldn't put this toy in vaginally and sit upand because of the crank I couldn't just use it as a butt plug while sitting either.This is really only a problem because I'm a creature of habit and kind of a brat about changing my routine(also, my bed is across my room, so I have to turn the porn volume up, and I don't like to disturb my roommate)I also had a slight problem with the angel laying down vaginally, but a pillow under my ass fixed it without much fuss. So again, a lot of people masturbate laying down or with their ass in the air, or honestly, in any position imaginable, but I wasn't able to masturbate with it.

3. It's harder to do solo. The spinning action was way harder to do on myself then on someone else. So my spinning was a bit haulty and slower, but still got the job done. Damn my short stubby arms.

4. Hair. I'm not that hairy of a girl, I generally keep my pubic hair trimmed or shaved, the same with any hair around my ass, so for me, the toy spin freely without any kind of a problem. However, the DFB has a little bit of a hairy ass, and when we tried to spin it, even with a lot of lube, hair would get caught or pull, so it wasn't comfortable for him. Something to keep in mind.

Finally, I should let you know that I dropped the toy in my bathtub (which is an old school solid one, not one of the plastic kind they have now) and broke the handle and base off, so while this thing can handle being dropped in my wooden floor (what can I say, I drop things a lot), be careful around tile or other hard surfaces.

All in all, I liked this toy, but, I have to use it with a partner, which is a little bit of a negative for me. I would recommend if for seasoned butt play enthusiasts, those who aren't particularly hairy or are groomed short, and for someone who wants to try a different sensation.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Dear Sextoy.com

As I said before, I started reviewing for Sextoy.com a while back. The shipments take a while to get to me, and by the time I'd gotten and used the first set of toys, I was offically in my funk. I didn't want to write. I had used them with the DFB, and I didn't want to think about him. I was just feeling down and not responding to the calls for upcoming toys available to review. All while sitting on about 70 dollars worth of toys that I had been sent for free, and hadn't reviewed, i.e., I was being an asshole.

I got an email from Domina Doll, who runs the reviewer program, and I was flooded with guilt. I didn't want to open it, I was scared of what she was going to say. I didn't want to feel any worse then I already did. Finally, I sucked it up and read the email. I was shocked. She was amazing. She was kind, she told me she understood how hard it was for me. She told me even a bare bones like/don't like review would be fine. She told me she hoped everything was ok. I couldn't have asked for a better response.

It was just the nudge I needed to get back into this. I needed someone to tell me it was ok, and as soon as I didn't feel guilty for not doing it, I wanted to write and I had a reason. I know there has been a lot going on in the sex blogger community about different companies and how they treat their reviewers. I just want to put out there, that sextoy.com has been nothing but nice to me, when honestly, I hadn't been doing what I was supposed to, so if you're buying toys, think about going with them, because they've proven to me at least that they really do care about me as a person, and a blogger, not just as someone to get their name out there. Thank you Domina. That is all.

I'm back bitches!

Hey everyone. I'm back. I'm still dealing with some of the things that brought me to the decision to close the blog, but all in all, I'm doing better. First I had outstanding reviews to write, and I've been hearing/reading some interesting things I've wanted to write about. I'm probably going to be staying away from my personal experiences for a while, and stick to reviews, advice, and discussing sexuality in the media. Which means I'll encourage you again to send me any questions and feel free to send me anything interesting about sex that you find at cleofaye01 at gmail.com. I'll be posting a review later today, and should have a few more coming in the next week or so, so I'll leave you with my words of wisdom: if you don't know, ask, and if you're unsatisfied, give direction! Love and kisses cleofaye.