Monday, July 26, 2010

Grooming Part 1: To shave or not to shave.

Pubic hair is a fact of life. After puberty, everyone's got it, but watching most mainstream modern porn, you get the impression that women are completely hairless from the neck down. Even the landing strips and small patches that were big in the nineties have gone the way of completely bare vulvas (Random aside, my computer isn't recognizing vulvas, if that's not the pural what is? Vulvae? Vulvi? Anyway...). It seems then, that pubic hair, outside of bush fetish websites, has been declared (like the internet) over.

The problem with that is, women are not, in fact, hairless, and to add to that getting your vulva as baby smooth as they look in mainstream porn is almost impossible. Even freshly shaven, one chill and you're left with a stubbly, usually painful, mess. (Which has always made me wonder if they keep porn sets warmer for just that reason. Anyone know?) The average girl has very little hope of looking quite as smooth as the average porn star, and has very little incentive to do so, yet, somehow, men have come to expect or demand it.

While I find this expectation ridiculous, to be honest, I kind of get it. The vulva is hot, I like looking at it, and being able have a completely unobstructed view is fun, and I really enjoy sucking on bare outer labia. However, in the end, I neither demand or really want my lover to keep themselves clean shaven. I've had my face rubbed raw by a girl who had shaved earlier that day but already had stubble, and have had the experience myself of stepping out of the shower, getting a chill, and ruining the just shaved smoothness.

The first time I shaved, I did it because P, my first boyfriend, requested it. He had a lot of experience, and I was a virgin at the time. I shaved because I felt like I needed to "keep up," like I was competing with all the girls that had come before me. It was a pain, and I never really liked it, but I kept up with it because somewhere in my head, it's what I was "supposed" to do, or what I "should" do. When I finally broke up with him, I found myself much more comfortable just letting it grow, but eventually it would start to itch when it was too long. Finally I bought a cheap hair trimmer and found happiness in shortly trimmed but not actually shaven hair. It allowed for plenty of viewing, but didn't hurt or itch and didn't result in ingrown hairs. I have generally found that I enjoy it in my sexual partners as well. Trimmed hair usually ends up softer then shaved, yet it's short enough to not go up my nose or get caught in my mouth during oral sex.

That said, pubic hair stylings are completely personal, and everyone is welcome to their opinions, I just encourage you to make your decision based on YOUR personal feelings, not any sort of obligation, expectation, or pressure, not that of society, a significant other, or a sexual partner. With that kiddies, I sign off, as always, saying if you don't know, ask, and if you're unsatisfied, give directions!


  1. I think vulvae are hot too (yes, I looked-up the plural form). And, thus, I find the completely bare/Brazilian pubic style visually appealing. However I don't dictate pubic grooming to my girlfriend. I'm happy to give her oral sex regardless of her grooming style (hair up the nose or face rash be damned).

    Would love to see a photo of your vulva. Care to share?

  2. Great post! I agree, while I like to actually see the vulva, it is horrible upkeep. I prefer to mix it up- somedays I completely shave, somedays there's a mini landing strip, some days it's trimmed.. It keeps things interesting and isn't so uncomfortable.

  3. I started shaving because my husband requested it. I keep it up because it is so much easier in my opinion - especially at that yucky time of the month when the pad sticks to something other than my undies.