Saturday, February 13, 2010

My Love Affair with Porn (addendum)

I jut wanted to make a note about what I've been saying in my love affair with porn entries. I've gotten comments talking about the unrealistic bodies and expectations mainstream porn has. I know all that. I'm a big girl, when I started having sex, I was wearing a size 22. No one looked like me. It didn't matter if they were fucking on screen or falling in love in some hollywood romantic comedy. I learned long ago to forget that my body was never represented and to enjoy whatever was on screen in spite of it. Even now, at a size 16, I don't see anyone on screen, in general or in porn, that looks like me.

I'm hot, but the fact is, if anyone is taking me to bed and expecting to see an airbrushed porn star body underneath has a serious detachment with reality. I used to be ashamed of my body, or at the very least self conscious about it. However, when I started having sex, I realized how incredibly amazing my body is. There is nothing like an orgasm, and I came to understand very early if I was freaking out about what I looked like, they were elusive. I don't know when exactly the change happened, but it was pretty early. When I realized I was good in bed, I stopped insisting on dim lighting or in positions I thought I looked better in. I'm now more comfortable with a new sex partner naked then I am going out on a date.

I would be lying if I said I'd never had partners who made me feel shitty about myself, but I haven't allowed one in my bed in years. I don't have a hard time finding people who want to have sex with me, and I don't need someone who doesn't appreciate my body.

So yes, although this rant went a little off topic, I wanted to say I know that mainstream porn is full of a bunch of size 2 women with perfect bodies and plastic surgery, but you know what? so is every fashion magazine and mainstream movie (oh excuse me, I could always get work as the plucky fat side kick who always talks about food) so before we talk about body image and porn, put down the Cosmo and stop talking about how people like Kira Knightly have the best bodies, then maybe we can have a constructive conversation. For now, I'm going to say that at least porn stars are open about their plastic surgery, and admit their bodies are unnatural, instead of every other actress out there saying she's just blessed with good genes. So if you're willing to watch regular movies and browse magazines that lack images of women that represent your experience, I don't see the difference of watching porn with the same thing.

That was a bit of a rant, but if you can't rant on your own blog, where can you? I'll sign off as always, saying, if you don't know ask, and if you're unsatisfied, give direction!

1 comment:

  1. The sexiest woman I ever saw was at least sixty years old and at least 100 lbs. overweight. she was also *dripping* with self-confidence, and THAT is the sexiest attribute of all. You just keep on going with your sexy self!

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