Sunday, February 14, 2010

The List

I lost my virginity on Valentine's Day.... yes, I know, seriously, there was music, there were candles, I made a special dinner, it was something out of a movie, and considering I am not one to appreciate romance (when it's directed at me, I'm one romantic bitch as long as it is me doing it for other people), that's just a little ridiculous. In honor of such an occasion, I've decided to post my list.... yep that list, all the sexual partners I've had. To make the cut, one or both of us had to cum, (or, for one sad boy, there had to be a valiant effort to that end).

Here they are, in chronological order (or at least, as near to order as I can remember).

P- Dated for almost three years (July 04-March 07) What is there to say about P? I very desperately wanted to be straight, and he very determinedly hit on me all summer as my boss at a block buster. I was 20 when we met, he was 32. I subbed for him until the incident. I owe a whole lot of my sexual knowledge and confidence to P.

K- Dated for about 9 months (July 06- March 07) I fell in love with K the moment I met her. She was 'the love of my life, and completely batshit crazy. She had spent a year in a mental institution before I met her. She would call me at 6 am having panic attacks outside her job. She pulled out all her eyelashes. She broke my heart. She's still the only one to ever make me cum from just clit play.

D- 3 weeks of dinners and 2 nights of making out/sex (November 07) I was a mess when D met me. I had moved to the city, didn't know anyone, didn't have a job, and was depressed. We had sex once after talking about it constantly. It was good, but I never heard from her again.

KN- Dated for 3 months (May 07-July 07) KN was trans, and honestly, I hooked up with her the first time because I thought it would be interesting. It was, but that was the most interesting thing about her. She had the personality of a rice cake. She had her SRS while we were dating, so I got to experience sex with her both pre and post op.

B- Dated 6 in open relationship months (August 08- March 09) B was also trans, again, I was very comfortable with her, but after the fact I wasn't in love with her. We were just supposed to have sex, but ended up dating, and planning a future together. She had amazingly long fingers and is still some of the best sex I've ever had.

KE- 1 night (sometime around Dec 08) I had known KN for as long as B, but she went up to school 2 hours away before we could get together. We met up while she was home for Christmas. She had huge boobs she wouldn't let me touch, and I kept my pants on the whole time

N- 1 night (Jan 09) I was missing penis, met him online. He was terrified, he came, proclaimed it the best blowjob he's ever had (he was 21, so I wasn't that impressed with the compliment), then was too nervous to have sex.

M- Fuck buddies for three months (March 09-June 09) We were both bitter and jaded. We both wanted sex. He helped me through my break up and we met to hook up one a week for the next few months. We continued to meet for dinner when both of us got s/o's and are still friends.

J- 1 night, (March09)- He was about my height (5'2) with what must have been a 9 or 10 inch cock. He couldn't keep it up in the condom, I refused to do it without one. He went down on me... for like an hour... until I just faked it (since he wasn't listening to my directions anyway). Only person who tried who never made me cum.

A- Dated 3 months (April 09- Jun 09) Was supposed to be a fuck buddy, I fell hard for him. Might still be a little in love with him. He was a sub and I had the best BDSM sex with him.

MI- 3 nights (Sept 09) Sub who wanted to pay to play with my feet. I let him do it for free, don't know if that's better or worse. Blew him a few times. He tried to pin me in bed despite my protests, I never let him back in my bed.

JP - Fuck Buddy (Sept 09-?) I met JP right before A and I broke up, and we didn't do anything for months. We would get together every couple of weeks, since neither of us got to have sex with women often. She just moved an hour away, so who knows if/when we can get together again.

D - 1 night (November 09) D is of the older couple fame. Hot, off the boat Italian, easily twice my age. Finger fucked me within an inch of my life then sent me home.

KK- 1 night (Dec 09) Met online, agreed to casual sex. I had my period, blew him, got an email a week or two later. He wanted more then casual sex, just not with me. Ouch

AK&R 1 night (New Years Eve/Day 09/10) Met the couple through Fetlife. Looking for a switch. Played all night and again in the morning.

G- Hooking up (Jan 10-?) He found me through my blog. Wants to do porn with me. Has a large penis I actually wish was smaller. Treats me better then anyone I've actually dated. Into rope bondage and BDSM.

PL - Fuck Buddy (Jan 10-?) Met on Twitter. Flew up from Florida to meet me. Went with me when my car got impounded. Best so far in getting me off whenever I want it, even if he's not up for it.

DFB - Fuck buddy (Feb 10-?) B actually sent him my way, realizing he was too kinky for her. Has almost the perfect penis. Lives nearby and is a perfect booty call (comes, cums, recovers, dresses and leaves, no fuss, no muss).

That's it. My list. I'll note that I started having a lot more fuck buddies after KN, because that when P and I actually stopped having sex once and for all. Looking at the list, I have mixed feeling about it. Some people I miss purely for the sex, so I miss for the friendship, and some I can't believe happened in the first place. But that's all for me kiddies on this Valentine's day, and wishing you all the love in the world, for yourself, since no one else really matters. With that I'll sign out saying, this is cleofaye, and if you don't know, ask, and if you're unsatisfied, give direction!

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