Tuesday, November 3, 2009

PSA: Female ejaculation: Learning to love the squirt

I'm going to tell you guys that I'm not the only to have written about this subject. The lovely Olga at Cuntlove has done an extensive 8 part series on female ejaculation over at her site (and mine, in case you forget, I blog there every wed with posts about feminism, kinky sex, and how those things relate to each other. We've had some pretty interesting conversations and I'm really proud of my work there, so check it out if you haven't already, I'll be posting about the joys of topping tomorrow.)

However, I just wanted to put some things straight and have a quick discussion of my experiences with female ejaculation as well as some tips if you wanted to try it for yourself. I didn't know female ejaculation existed growing up or into my college years. Apparently the scrambled porn on the top channels of my parent's cable hadn't quite shown me the full breadth of female sexuality (shocking, I know). I was in bed with my first boyfriend and he was finger fucking me. It was one of the first times I had ever had anything in my butt. It felt amazing, and the experience still ranks and some of the best sex I've ever had, many partners and more then 5 years later. All of the sudden, I came incredibly hard and felt something dripping off my pussy (I was doggy style at the time). I freaked a bit and told P I was done.

While P went to the bathroom to clean up, I freaked. I pulled the blankets off the bed and discovered the huge wet spot where I had been. It was clear, but I've always been one to drink tons of water, so that didn't necessarily mean it wasn't pee. I smelled it, and couldn't smell anything, but again, I didn't know if this just meant I had been very well hydrated or it was something else entirely. I considered putting my clothes on and leaving before P got back from the bathroom. I was freaked out and ashamed that I had possibly peed the bed. P came back to find me in tears, pulling the sheets off his bed. I told him in a shaky voice that I was so sorry and that I didn't know what had happened. He looked at me, looked at the bed, smelled the spot, pulled me into his arms and explained what female ejaculation was. He even popped in a porn with squirting in it to show me I wasn't alone. He told me that it was hot, that he wasn't upset, and that even if I had peed the bed, knowing that he had made me come hard enough to lose that kind of control would never upset him.

I left his house shaken, but considerably calmer and started my own research. There isn't a lot of information out there. I even used my college's academic resources to look up scholarly articles and frankly, found way more crap on random websites that had no credibility and all anecdotal evidence. I read a few articles and found out things like, just like boys can't really pee when they are close to orgasm, because the the channel for urine is being overtaken by the channel for semen, women usually can't pee when they are very turned on and close to orgasm. Also, while it can look like pee, ejaculate comes from the skeen's gland and, just like vaginal fluid changes in smell, consistency, and taste depending on where the girl is in her menstrual cycle. Since then, I've seen my own, and a few other girl's squirt range from clear and completely liquid to thick, white and opaque, looking like male cum.

There is still little scientific research on female ejaculation, and there is still a raging debate on if the phenomenon even exists. As someone who has, since that first terrifying experience, been doing it routinely for the past 5 years, I'll putting myself firmly on the yes, it does exist side of the debate. If you've thought about it, and want to try it here are a few things I've discovered from my personal experience, though keep in mind that almost everything I tell you has at least a few people who will swear the opposite is true. However, in my g otravels I've thought about both my experience and those I've talked to about it (and yes, I talk to almost everyone I meet about sex) and these are the facts that we've come up with.

1. I've found the squirting is usually related to intensity of orgasm. While an intense orgasm doesn't automatically mean that an ejaculation will happen, it's much more likely with an intense orgasm then a mild one.

2. Most woman need some kind of penetration, usually including g spot stimulation to be able to squirt. I have yet to meet anyone who has been able to squirt from strictly clitoral stimulation.

3. The less hydrated you are, the thicker the consistency of the ejaculate.

4. Stimulation of the g spot usually results in the feeling of having to pee at first, freaking a lot of woman out and causing them to stop the stimulation before that sensation passes (which it will) and intense, orgasmic sensations replace them.

5. Many woman feel the sensation of a build up of pressure similar to a full bladder before they ejaculate. Again, this sensation can cause many woman to stop short of orgasm, but just go with it and you may end up ejaculating.

6. Finally, many woman are freaked out the first time it happens or are scared of their partner's reaction, but I'm hear to assure you as both someone who has done it and been with girl's who could, I've never found it anything but hot and the most negative reaction I ever received was indifference.

So I encourage you to try it, at home by yourself at first if that makes you more comfortable, if it has been something you're interested in. There are some good resources out there, so do a little research of your own, and go for it. So this is cleofaye saying, spray the walls kiddies and, as always, if you're unsure, just ask, and if you're unsatisfied, give direction.

2 comments:

  1. That was EXACTLY how it felt, like I had to pee! I got panicky and made him stop.

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  2. my first wifes experience was much as you describe. We were both new at it, and neither of us knew anything. Over the years we were married, we didnt know any different, didnt know other women DIDn't do that. The event happened from oral sex, penetrative sex, vibrator sex. The effluent that resulted would dry in moments, and was odorless and in no way offensive.
    The only adverse effect we experienced was an episode of oral sex, in 69 position, when she began coming and flooding, and I was forced to stop at exactly the wrong moment. It took her a month before she was able to trust me not to quit at the wrong time.
    The tissue in her pussy changed the way it felt at the moment of orgasm. The lubricity at the moment of flood was markedly different, much more liquid and frictionless.
    The reason I'm responding to this - since he I have been with more than 40 others over the years. NONE of them evinced the same phenomena.
    Having my first be an honest to goodness ejaculator spoiled me for most others. Without the full measure of ejaculation, I found it VERY difficult to believe any of them actually came.
    Sad.

    m

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