Sunday, October 18, 2009

The problem of cum

We have multiple discussions of sex with boys, with one thing that's been missing. When you have sex with boys (and yes, I pretty much always call them boys because the fact is regardless of age I have never met a boy who was completely mature, not the first one, who was 12 years older then me with 2 kids, not even my dad)you have to deal with cum.

First, some cum basics. When a guy orgasms, he squirts out a mixture of sperm and seminal fluid (something for the sperm to live in) at a rate of .8 seconds between spurts. Generally it's white, though it can be slightly more off white and that's normal as well. It has a consistency of raw egg, but that changes over time. Cum starts off liquid, thickens up for a short amount of time, then becomes more liquid again. This developed so cum would stay in the vagina longer while thick, then potential run through the cervix easier when it turned more liquidy again. (nifty how that evolution works isn't it?) When cum dries on skin it feels like back in grade school when you used to let elmer's glue dry on your hand then peeled it off. (I know I can't be the only one who spent most of elementary school covered in glue.)

Now that we know what it is, what do we do with it? What should you do with cum? Personally, I've always found the easiest way to deal with cum is to let it land in a condom. You pull out right away (before he gets soft at all, but you knew that already right?) pull the condom off, tie it up, throw it out (don't flush it, it's bad for the environment and doesn't always stay down.) and you're done.

We've been over before that I really don't like condoms that much, so for me, it's actually easiest to let the guy cum in an orifice. You can clean up as you like from there, generally going to the bathroom is more then enough for vag or butt sex. If you want to let a guy cum in your mouth, it is up to you what you want to do (but we've gone over this already). Swallow it and you've got instant disposal, spit, and you just need to have either a cup, a paper towel, or something to spit in/onto.

While we're on the subject, we'll have a quick aside about taste. Everyone's cum tastes different, the same way every girl tastes different. There are a lot of things that affect the way cum tastes, and a lot of changes a guy can make to improve it. I've said it once and I'll say it again, tasting a smoker's cum is like licking an ashtray, it's fucking gross. The fact is, the healthier the guy's diet, with a few rare exceptions, the better tasting his cum. Red meat makes it more sour, fruit (especially pineapple) makes it sweeter. Vegans are rumored to taste very good, junk food addicts tend to taste awful. Anything that makes your pee smell bad,(asparagus and coffee for example) makes your cum taste that way too. So really, if you're a considerate guy, please don't have garlic, coffee, and a huge steak and expect a blowjob afterward.

There is also the option of letting the guy cum on you. Some girls love it, some hate it, so really it's a personal decision. Growing up with years of porn, most guys appreciate a good "money shot" moment. Offer your ass or tits and they're generally happy. However, the holy grail of porn is the facial. Now some women have a problem with facials because they think they are demeaning/degrading/pushing the women's movement back 50 years and all that. I plan on explaining this further in a separate blog entry, but basically, what you do in your bedroom has nothing to do with life's general power dynamics. If you think you wouldn't mind a guy cumming on your face, don't let your feminist sensibilities tell you it's wrong. You're doing something you find fun and interesting, and it has nothing to do with your feminist values or some idea that men are more powerful, so get that out of your head. Personally, I get off on anything that my partner really gets off on, so it's never been a big issue for me.

A few words of caution if you're going to do a facial. Make sure you don't get it in your eyes. At the very least it will sting, at worst, you can end up having to go to the doctor with an infection. (If you have glasses you can always wear them as protection, and of course enough of guys have a sexy librarian thing that he'll probably think it's sexy). If you're a guy reading this, honestly, just don't be a douche. Don't aim for her eyes, nostrils or hair, though everything else is free game. Also, be a gentleman and have a towel ready so she doesn't have to sit there with your spooge on her face waiting for you to find a cum towel.

Finally, a word on cum clean up. First, clean it up while it's still wet, dried cum is a bitch to get out of even the finest of body hair. Second, use luke warm water. You can also use cold water, but that's just unpleasant, but hot water will actually make cum clump and will make it even harder to get off your skin or out of your hair.

So now that I've talked about it a bit, I'm hoping you'll be inspired to try something new with cum (if that's the kind of sex you're into anyway, sorry all my female lovin' folk, I'm sure I'll have something for you soon). So in closing, this is cleofaye telling all of you, if you don't know, ask, and if you're not satisfied, give direction!

1 comment:

  1. Dear friend,

    I appreciate the tip about hot water and cum. I never knew, and that's the temp that I would have started out with. Now, I'll make sure never to go there.

    Also, I've always adored a man ready with a towel. Take note gents!

    Thanks again!

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