Monday, October 26, 2009

Anal Sex Part 2: The Ins and Outs of Butt Sex

So I've been thinking about this post for a while, and I know it's going to be on the longer side. There is a lot to discuss when talking about how to have anal sex, and I don't want to leave you without any important information. I don't want you to get lost in sea of never ending text, so I'm dividing this into things you need to know before, during, and after. So if you're with me so far, let's get started.

A lot of this will be similar to the other anal play posts, but they bare repeating, and are completely relevant to this discussion, so I would rather repeat myself then miss anything

Before

First, go read my last anal sex post about myths and facts surrounding butt sex. No, I'm serious, go read it now. I'll wait. Ok, now that those points are out of the way, some more advice.

For the recipient:

1. DO love your body. Your butt is happiest when you're taking regular poos powered by lots of fiber, fruits, and veggies. You never know when you're going to want to have butt sex so really, you should just always be eating these things and pooing well before any sex session, it will make your butt sex and your body cleanier and happier.

2. DO listen to your body. Sometimes you just don't feel up to it. Maybe you have a rumbly stomach or have been having some digestive problems all day, you might want to skip bum sex that night, or face a much messier then usual experience. Sometimes you go to stick a finger in and it just doesn't feel right, regardless of how turn on, lubed up, and gently it's done. Don't power through, you're body is trying to tell you something and you'll likely have an unpleasant experience.

For the penetrating partner:

1. DON'T just stick it in. Make sure your partner is turned on, warm them up with rimming and fingering before even attempting to put something the size of your cock in there.

2. DO get permission. Even if you think you've done plenty of warm up, your fingers are gliding in and out easily, and your partner is enjoying it thoroughly, make sure to expressly ask them if they are ready for your cock. Sometimes they'll want more time then you expected.

3. DO know your anatomy. Do you know what to expect? Do you understand how the rectum works and what has to happen for butt sex? Do you know that it is two rings of muscles, about an inch apart from each other that both have to relax? You do? oh good, moving on then...

For both of you:

1. DO talk about it beforehand. Make sure you discuss butt sex beforehand so you are both sure that you want to do it before the time comes. If one or both of you has reservations, talk them out, and make double sure you're comfortable BEFORE penetration.

2. DO think about positioning. Butt sex involves a lot of communication, and if you aren't at the level where you know your partner's every thought by staring at their back (like you would for doggy style), you might want to try facing each other the first few times. It will be much easier to read your partner's facial expressions if you can actually see them.

3. DO have clean up ready. Have paper towels or baby wipes around for clean up, as well as fresh towels in case a shower is needed.

During

For the fucker:

1. You asked just to be sure right? Ok, then DO lube up. Hopefully you've already done this step since you fingered their ass, but if you didn't or they need more, lube up your cock, using what's left on your hand to lube their asshole and pushing some in with your finger.

2. DO be up to the task. Make sure you're completely hard. Semi hard cocks just don't do butt sex, it's a sad truth.

3. DO take it in stages. Place the head right at your partner's asshole and push gently (don't force it if it's not happening) but firmly. Once you're in, you'll hit the second set of muscles. Stop there, let your partner relax, then repeat the step again. Move forward in small increments, letting your partner adjust each time, until you're in completely. Check with your partner, play with their clit/penis, make sure they're comfortable before you start thrusting, and start off slowly.

4. DO mind the bend. No one is a straight shot, everyone has a bend, your dick may conform to it when you are going slowly, it probably won't if you're going fast, don't thrust right into your partner's colon, that's never comfortable.

5. DON'T be afraid of more lube. If you're getting a little dry or starting to drag AT ALL, add more lube. It's always better to err on the side of too much then too little.

For the fuckee:

1. DO Relax. If you're tense, there is no way in hell it's going to happen. If you don't want to do it, then don't, because letting someone put their dick in your ass when you really don't want it there is never going to be a good experience for either of you.

2. DO pay attention to your body. If your butt says it's not going in tonight, despite the fact that you want it to, you're relaxed, you're lubed up, and very turned on, then don't force it. If you have your heart set on butt sex, try getting off and giving it another go, you're ass is generally a bit more relaxed after an orgasm.

3. DON'T just lay there. Give yourself more stimulation. Play with your clit, insert a dildo in front (there will be more on dp in another entry coming soon), try different things and your old favorites, it will only add to the sensation, and make the experience more pleasurable.

4. DON'T be scared to speak up. This relies on a lot of communication. If something feels wrong, tell your partner right away. You probably just need more lube, a different angle, or some other quick fix, but if you're still uncomfortable or feeling any pain TELL THEM and STOP. If you check everything out and are up for trying again, that's fine, but better safe then in the hospital with a butt sex induced injury.

For both:

1. DON'T forget that communication is key. Yes I've said this to both of you individually, it's worth repeating. If it doesn't feel right don't do it. Pay attention to your bodies.

2. DON'T freak out. Yes, I've talked a lot about what can go wrong, but the fact is, just be safe, keep checking in, and go at it. Butt sex in intense and hot and sexy and anything else you want it to be, don't let the technicalities of it psych you out.

AFTER

For the sodomite:

1. DO cum inside. I recommend it because you need to pull out slowly, and that's not always the first thing on your mind if you're pulling out of your partner's ass just before climax. Use a condom or don't, your choice, but the pullout method is useless in the butt anyway, so just do it.

2. DON'T whip it out. Once you've cum, pause a second, and pull out SLOWLY. If you rip it out, it's possible to really hurt your partner.

3. DO clean up without freaking out. If there was some poo involved, wipe it off, go wash up, shower if needed, but don't freak out or say anything about anything being gross or disgusting. You chose to put your cock in someone's ass, it's always a possibility. If you are an asshole about clean up or make your partner feel shitty about something they can't control, they have my full permission to kick you in the taint... just sayin.

For the Sodomized

1. DO let yourself feel it. The moment your partner pulls out is an odd sensation, to me it always just felt... for lack of a better word, sad... to have my butt feel so suddenly empty. If that's you, just know it's a pretty normal feeling.

2. DO shit it out. Depending on the poo situation, you may or may not need a trip to the bathroom to wash up or shower, but while you are there, sit on the toilet. You'll have a post bum sex poo that will basically be all the lube (and possibly cum) leaving your butt. If you don't do this, if you fart, or sneeze, or clench any of your ass muscles, (and you will, butt sex sends a ton of air up there) it will come out where ever, when ever you happen to be (you know, like talking to your parents in the living room one day, a sneeze, and boom, soiled panties that you had to pretend were fine for a good five minutes to not arouse suspicion, not that that has ever happened to me or anything.... moving on)(also, quick aside, check your poo for blood, just in case)

For you both

Butt sex is what you make of it. Enjoy yourselves, be careful, and try everything that looks interesting. That's all for me for today, so this is cleofaye saying, if you don't know, ask, and if you're unsatisfied, give direction.

6 comments:

  1. Great blog and post. I've posted a link to your two anal play ones (http://30-f-london.blogspot.com/2009/11/anal-dreaming.html)

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  2. That has got to be the best and the most comprehensive 'how to' on butt sex...absolutely love it! every man (and woman) NEEDS to read this if they want to go there, thank you for your honesty and well thought out opinion on this topic!

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  3. Thank you for this post. I recently agreed to anal, my partner was so very gentle and polite and it really wasn't that bad. But what I experienced after scared me...a lot but I couldn't say anything because I was freaked out and unsure and a bit embarrassed. None of my friends do anal so I've been searching the 'net for clues.

    Thank you!!

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  4. Thanks for everyone's kind words, I'm really a big fan of butt sex, so I'm glad that other people are reading this and finding it useful. To my anon commenter. If you want to ask more specific questions but are scared of doing it here, email me at cleofaye01@gmail.com and I can see if I can be of any help.

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  5. Great post. I have adored butt sex for years, with men and women - and you're spot-on with your advice.

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