Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Anal Sex Part 1: Myths and Facts

I've already said that I'm a big fan of things in my butt. P, the first ex, was very into butt play, knew what he was doing, and made me love it right along with him. I'm generally pretty paranoid, so I was very scared of sex for a long time. Butt sex was something that wouldn't get me pregnant, so it was much easier to convince me to give that up first (and yes, I got him tested before we did anything together, so there was no STD risk either). I only had butt sex for about 6 months before actually having vaginal sex. I have a few things to clear up and talk about before we get into the mechanics of actually doing it.

1. Myth: Butt sex is painful- Butt sex can be painful, if you're not careful and communicating closely with your partner. In short NO, BUTT SEX SHOULD NOT HURT. EVER. Everyone got that? If it hurts, it means something is wrong and you should stop, figure out what's wrong, and keep going only if both partners are still up for it and ready. This is why you should never use a numbing agent. You could not realize you're hurting until you've done serious damage.

2. Fact: Butt sex is intense- Girls, think about this logically for a second. Your vagina is designed to pop out a baby. A fucking baby. If it were that sensitive, or you could feel the skin stretching around a penis, it would be so painful, women wouldn't be able to handle child birth. Now think how sensitive your butt is. Exactly, you can feel everything during butt sex in a way that makes vag sex seem completely numb. That's exactly why being careful and lots of communication are especially important during butt sex.

3. Myth: Spit is enough lube for butt sex- I call bullshit on this. I have friends who swear by spit, but frankly, I've never had anything but intense pain the few times I've tried it. Use a good, thick lube that doesn't dry up. I suggest silicone based for butt sex, but any one that you like is fine.

4. Myth: Butt sex is naughty- ok, I'll give you that yes, to some people butt sex is naughty, but that stigma has been fading fast for years. Tons of people put things in their butt, it's just that no one talks about it. It's not that shocking or taboo anymore (unless of course that is what gets you off about it, then sure sweetie, you go be your naughty naught self). I mean they sell lube at walmart for god's sake, and that place won't sell music that mentions butt sex, so really, it's not that big of a deal anymore.

5. Myth: Butt sex is rough and impersonal- again, I'll give you that this is sometimes true. But then again, it's true about any kind of sex you can have. It's not the type of sex you're having that determines the tone, it's your mood. Butt sex can be just as intimate and loving as vaginal sex, if you want to it to be. Your interaction with your partner, and your position will determine what style of sex you're going to have (rough, romantic, sensual, etc...) not what orifice you're having it in.

6. Myth: If a guy's into butt sex, it means he's gay- yes, gay men have butt sex, but lesbians have oral sex, does that mean every girl who likes to be eaten out is really harboring lesbian tendencies? That's all I have to say about that.

7. Fact: You have to be more careful during butt sex- You're vag is designed to pop out a baby with minimal damage, you're butt isn't. Anything sharp, gritty, too dry, or rough can rip the lining of your anal cavity. This requires you to be more careful and communicate with your partner so you know if you have to stop, slow down, or add more lube.

8. Myth: Butt sex is all about scat play- You poop out of your butt, we all know this, but no, butt sex is not scat play. If you eat a decent diet with a good amount of fiber, and don't do it if you're not feeling well or have to poop, you shouldn't have a problem. If you do, it's a slight amount that's easily wiped off with some baby wipes or paper towels. Yes accidents happen, but most butt play, if you listen to your body, goes off without a problem.

I think that's about it. If anyone has any more questions before the butt sex how to (to be posted early next week) email me at cleofaye01@gmail.com or leave a comment here. So it's something to think about, and give a try if you've been leery of it before. That's all I've got for tonight kiddies, so, as always this is cleofaye signing off with if you're not sure ask, and if you're unsatisfied, give direction!


  1. love this post...well, ALL of your posts, really. you take the time to look at sex like it's just a part of living...which it is.



  2. Thank you for this post! I've recently become interested (read: turned on) by anal sex, and had to insist to a few disgusted friends that, while not everyone may enjoy anal sex, it should never hurt if you're doing it right.

  3. Is "butt sex" only penetrative sex? Is oral anal sex(analingus/rimming)not also sex? Do we get a Part 3? Thx!

  4. Yes, when I talk about butt sex I do mean penetrative sex. I have covered rimming before (it's the first entry in sept) and I don't know if there will be a part three... what would you want to see in it?

  5. Thank you for this, I am approaching this and have a such embarrassment with the poo thing we had one initial encounter that I was so humiliated it just ruined the moment for me. My fears are all based on the shyness of this. Your writing gave me much more comfort in trying again.

  6. I love anal...And spit works out fine for me...It is as pleasurable as vaginal....And I have no pain what so ever...of course a but when the penis is being inserted...but not after..