Sunday, September 27, 2009

Trans girl sex: I'm a clumsy asshole

(As per my last post, I consulted B before posting it, and she told me to "have a ball", so here's my infamous, how I broke a penis story)

So I didn't intend for it to be insane anecdote that only happens to cleofaye week, but I've been planning this entry for weeks, and that whole riding crop phone number thing was just way too good not to blog about. Right now, we're going to have a quick discussion of pre op or non op trans girls. I've had two trans girlfriends. One had surgery while we were dating, the other had it not long after we broke up, so I experienced sex with both girls while they still had a penis.

The decision to have Sexual Reassignment Surgery (SRS) is personal and something I would never venture to ever have an opinion on, having never been had it. I will say that the first time I saw my girlfriend K naked was a little jarring. It was just completely unexpected (in a back of the mind kind of way, since I knew beforehand what was going to be there) to have this girl, who was waaay more feminine then me, with long blond hair and adorable little boobs with a penis. (To make matters a little more confusing, it was also the first uncut one I had ever seen. I was completely out of my element.)

Once I got over the initial disconnect, K and I had pretty regular, good sex. We eventually parted ways, and I started dating B, who was also pre operative at the time. Only when I was with B did I realize how different things could with trans girls. Here are some things you should know about sex with pre op trans girls:

1. If they are new, a trans girl's boobs will be extra sensitive. Both the girls I dated were relatively early in the transition process (at the most 2 years), so their boobs were still growing. This meant their nipples were very very sensitive. This is both good (yay fabulous reactions when you play with them) and bad (it's much easier to hurt them). As always, take the cue from the girl your with, but be extra careful.

2. Depending on their hormone levels, they may or may not be able to get hard. K wasn't on enough testosterone blockers during her transition. This actually resulted in a lot of complications for her surgery, but the testosterone in her system allowed her to maintain an erection like any man I had been with. B, on the other hand, had a lot less testosterone in her system. This meant that sometimes she could get hard, sometimes she couldn't. It was a non issue, since could still get pleasure either way, and was amazing in bed. We had most of our best sex without ever using her penis.

3. This is totally my personal theory, but I think that trans girls habitually have huge pre op penises. Every trans girl I've talked to about it or had sex with has been well above average. I don't know what the link is, but I'm just putting it out there that I think it's pretty common for these girls to have very large penises pre operatively.

When B did get hard, it was a little different then the boys I have been with. She usually wouldn't get fully erect, and if she did, the shaft would be hard, but it wasn't as rigid in relation to her body. (I'm trying to come up with a polite or better sounding way to say it was floppy against her body, but I'm not coming up with anything.) We could never manage butt sex, and everything generally worked best in missionary.

This is where we get to the cringe worthy part of my story. B and I were fooling around like we always did. She got really hard that day, and we were both a little shocked. We decided to try me on top, since we usually couldn't and we saw this as a rare opportunity. It was fantastic, for about 2 minutes. I was riding my ass off when, as it will happen sometimes, she popped out. But I, in the throws of things, didn't think, since when this had happened with guys I was with, if I just stayed in the same place and came down, they'd go back in and things would continue. Unfortunately, that wasn't what happened. We miss aligned, and I came down on her, hard.

I remember it hurting, and her scream. I rolled off of her, and within minutes we were both crying. Her from the pain and me from the shock of it all. We ended up having to go to the hospital. If she weren't having surgery to have it removed, she would have required surgery to fix her penis. She refused the surgery. I have to say that the staff of the hospital was amazing, considering the situation, but the experience was still horrible. Eight hours later they gave her some pain killers and sent her home, with strict instructions not to go anywhere near her penis for at least 6 weeks. At this point, we'd only been dating for about that amount of time.

For two months, it was torturous. If she got turned on at all, it would hurt, and I would feel guilty. We couldn't kiss beyond pecking, couldn't fool around, hell sometimes I would look at her the wrong (or in other circumstances the right?) way and she'd be in pain. We made it through our two months, and slowly started fooling around again. She never really got as hard again, which was an expected side affect and what they had wanted to perform surgery to fix. We still both came and enjoyed each other a whole lot before we broke up. She had her SRS surgery not long after, and it was unaffected, the only thing either of us really cared about. We can both look back on it and laugh, and honestly, it's one hell of a party story. But I'll put it out there as a cautionary tale.

So that's my story tonight kiddies. Totally explains why I refused to ride anyone for almost a year after that doesn't it? As always, this is cleofaye signing off by saying when in doubt, just ask, and when you're unsatisfied, give direction!

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