Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Anal play: Rimming

So the obvious progression from fingering someone's ass is licking their ass, however, I'm aware that rimming is not a common practice, at least in the heterosexual community. I've also found that rimming is pretty polarizing. Most people either love the way it feels, or hate it. I will admit that I come down on the hating it side of the fence. I'm always willing to give it another try with another partner, but honestly, I'd rather skip this particular section of foreplay. I have, on the other hand, thoroughly enjoyed rimming someone else.

I take the prospect of licking someone else's asshole very seriously. I had an ex that repeatedly asked me to do it, and the idea completely skeeved me. I finally agreed to do it while in the shower so I could be assured he was clean. (By the by, not a good idea, the curve of his ass + the tilt of my nose= water right up my nostrils. I almost drowned, it was unpleasant to say the least.) I then started dating B, and for some reason looking at her ass, I had a distinct change of heart. I actually had an intense desire to do it, and she hadn't even asked me to. And there started my appreciation for bum licking.

First we'll again touch on the cleanliness issue. No one wants their tongue anywhere near your ass if you seem even remotely unclean. If you're partner is squeamish about it, shower beforehand. Even if they're not, don't run 10 miles on a humid day and expect it to happen. Swamp ass is not appealing. For couples trying it for the first time, especially if either partner is reluctant, I would insist on a shower, it puts the rimmer at ease, but it also comforts the recipient, who may feel self conscious about smell or taste. I've been over basic bum cleanliness and guidelines before here so I'm not going to go over it again. Be smart, if you have a gut feeling it's not a good idea, just don't do it.

I'll mention here, though you know as a policy I don't preach about safe sex on this blog, that if you want to practice safe sex, dental dams are ideal for this. Plastic wrap is also ok, though do not use the microwavable kind. This can also be used if one or more of the partners is reluctant but wants to try anyway. With that little psa aside, lets get back to the point, so here they are, cleofaye's dos and don'ts for rimming.

DO RELAX! This is for the recipient. Relax. If you're too tense, you won't enjoy it. Just lay back, let go, and enjoy yourself.

DO vary your technique. Up and down, side to side, in circles. These are all good things. Press hard, or just lightly flick with your tongue, listen to how they react and go with what they enjoy.

DO spread the cheeks. Use your hands to pull their ass cheeks apart, or just go all out and bury your face in there, but none of this pussy footing around it. You're licking the asshole, that's the point, and it's going to take a little work to get to it. However, be careful. For some reason when my ass cheeks are spread too far apart at the top, the skin right at the crack and break. It's painful. So if you are spreading with your hands, do it from the bottom, not the top.

DO pair it with something they like already. play with their pussy or rub their cock. If you're doing something they already like (or they're doing it while you're going to town) it can ease them into the new sensation

DON'T force it. Once someone is relaxed and enjoying themselves, they my like you to stick your tongue in a little. This is not something you have to do, but a lot of people like it, so it's always worth a try. However, this sensation can be less then pleasant. As someone relaxes their ass relaxes as well and penetration is much easier. If they're not to that point yet, sticking your tongue up there will not work and only be unpleasant.

DON'T assume that rimming is "dirty" sex. Yes rimming can be something you do during the throws of wild, crazy, kinky sex, but it doesn't have to be. It can be just as intimate as any other act. It is all in how you do it. If you stroke your partners body, kiss your way down their back, kiss and lick their ass and during the act, it can be a very loving and sensual experience.

DON'T restrict yourself. When you're licking the asshole, explore a little. Lick down to the taint, or the taint and balls if there is penis involved. Everything is game, use it all to make them feel good.

DO be considerate about clean up. Things will get a little wet sloppy down there. Think about this beforehand. Have a towel, paper towels, or something for the rimmer to wipe their face on when they come up for air. They'll appreciate it, and so will your sheets.

DO consider the kiss. Kissing after a rimming session can be a touchy topic. By allowing someone to rim you, you're telling them your ass is clean enough to put their mouth on. If this is the case, you should have no problem kissing them after wards. If you do have an issue, be warned, they may be (justifiably in my opinion) pissed about it,but be sure you are up front about your expectations or requirements (gum, teeth brushing, what have you) before you start.

So that's my spiel, so this is cleofaye telling you all to go toss some salads and, as always when in doubt, just ask, and when you're unsatisfied, give direction!

2 comments:

  1. I am a fan of rimming on the giving end. I love to lick Alisha's ass while we are in the shower and she enjoys receiving it. Do have the problem with water up the nose but too turned on to care usually. Awesome article, thanks!

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  2. Also a giver - immediately after the shower. It makes Jack wild, and that makes me wet.

    Not so fond of receiving, and I'm sure it's a self-conscious thing.

    Nicely written, Cleofaye.

    Fondly,
    Jill

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