Monday, August 10, 2009

Blowjobs

Blowjobs.... Now we're moving into territory that is much more comfortable for me. I have an oral fixation. I like to eat, I like to chew gum, suck on mints, I pretty much hate having an empty mouth, something my sexual partners generally benefit from. I'm what's called a top, which means I find getting other people off more satisfying then getting off. (weird I know, but yes we exist I swear), making oral sex one of my favorite activities. It is an easy way to give your partner pleasure and explore your sexuality, without the risk or pregnancy and less risk of STD infection then penetrative sex.

Ok, as a quick aside. From the beginning I've promised this blog would not be about protection, because there are so many sources for that, (listed in my blog roll for your convenience) are more comprehensive then I would be capable of being, with statistics and studies and all sorts of fun facts to know and learn. But I think it would be irresponsible for me to talk about oral sex without some sort of mention of STDs and protection. It is possible to contract an STD through oral sex. Let me repeat that. IT IS POSSIBLE TO CONTRACT AN STD THROUGH ORAL SEX. Given that, the safest way to do it is to use a condom. However, I know how unrealistic that is. I don't know anyone who gives blowjobs with a condom, and I understand it. I'm allergic to latex, and non latex condoms taste so bad that I almost threw up the one time I attempted to put a condom on with my mouth. It's not fun, it's really not, but if you're being as safe as you can be, it's what you have to do. If you're dead set against it, I suggest fluid bonding with your primary partner (if you have one. If you're having multiple partner casual sex, you and all your partners should be tested before any sexual activity, and it will just be your decision if you are willing to accept the risk of unprotected oral sex.) To be fluid bonded, both you and your partner get tested, and if you're both negative, agree to have unprotected sex (using whatever pregnancy protection you prefer) only with each other. This policy requires both trust and honesty. You need to trust that your partner is using protection with their other partners, and if anything happens (such as a condom break), you have to be honest with your partner so they can reassess the risk the assume sleeping with you, and can decide to add condoms if you'd like. So that ended up being kind of a long aside, but I just want you to be safe kiddies!

We're also going to have a quick discussion on spiting vs. swallowing. There are people very staunchly in both camps, and I will confess that I sit very firmly on the swallowing side of the fence. However, there are plenty of arguments for either side, and it's a personal decision that every cock sucking person must make for his or her self. First thing to consider is the taste of cum. This varies greatly depending on the guy. It is influenced by diet and body chemistry. The less meat you eat, generally the sweeter tasting the cum. If someone smokes, their cum usually tastes like cigarettes.(stale cigarettes.... it's really gross. After one smoking boyfriend I have a strict no smoking policy because I will never taste that shit again, but that's just me.) There are somethings that boys can eat to make it taste better.... pineapple and different fruits, and some to avoid, like asparagus and other bitter foods(really anything known to make your pee smell funny, also true for any other fluids that come from that area, you might just want to avoid them in general... just sayin). In some cases, you don't have to taste it at all. I can deep throat, and if I know the person is getting close, I can deep throat them, and I swallow without the cum ever hitting my mouth. It all comes down to a personal decision. Some people think it's gross to swallow something, personally I think it is way more gross to hold it in my mouth for any amount of time. Whatever you decide, you may want to tell your partner that you'd like a warning right before they cum, so you can be prepared.

Anyway.... In my experience, blowjobs are universal. While I always say to treat each person as a blank canvas, figuring that someone with a penis will enjoy a blowjob is a pretty safe bet. I have met men who can't come from it, but even they have expressed enjoying them regardless. There are exhaustive lists of ways to give a good blowjob. There are entire books on the subject (with such take me seriously titles as "tickle his pickle," I mean ick, though that might just be me and my hatred of pickles talking). Open any cosmo and you'll get a slue of tips ranging from common sense to completely ridiculous (cover his balls in plastic wrap and hum... no seriously, I read it once. Does anyone ever actually do that kind of shit?), so I'm keeping things simple. These are just the most basic of dos and don'ts to make things easier and more fun the next time you are looking at a mouth full of penis.

First, a few DOs for the one with the penis.
- DO BE CLEAN. Wash yourself well.... this includes around and under your foreskin if you have one, and under your balls, no one wants to put something in their mouth that smells like old cheese.
- DO trim. No one wants to have to inhale public hair to go down on you. I'm not telling you to shave it completely, that can be hard to maintain, but I am telling you to keep it to a reasonable length.

Now for the cock suckers out there, some instructions for you:

- DO go for it. Everyone I've talked to has said enthusiasm is a huge part of enjoying a blowjob. Even if you're worried about technique, just go for it, listen for signs you're doing well, and make sure your partner knows you're not mentally composing a grocery list.

- DON'T be afraid to take care of yourself. Play with yourself. You're getting someone else off, and most likely getting really turned on in the process, go for it....start masturbating, the worst that can happen is you get off and have to start over again... but I'm a huge advocate for multiorgasmic sessions anyway. Plus not only will the moaning and noise you make vibrate your throat and make things feel better; it's just hot!

- DO it topless. Things can get a little messy, so take your shirt and (if you wear one) bra off. Not only does this just save your shirt from any possible drool/precum/cum, it also adds the visual of you topless, always a good thing.

- DO mix it up. Use your mouth, use your hands, use them both together. Using your hands like a hand job with your lips pretty much touching your fingers. This just creates more sensation, and more is always better, at least in this instance.

- DO let it get sloppy. The more spit, the slicker things get, which makes it easier to slide your lips and hands along. Drag is bad, you want everything to feel as smooth as possible.

- DO watch your teeth. Teeth scrape, and can actually cut your skin. You don't want to do that to someone's penis. However, also, be careful of your own lip. As I said, I've ripped open both my top and bottom lip. This can be avoided by either opening your mouth wide enough that you don't scrape at all, or just being very careful to not press too hard against your own lips.

- DON'T ignore the balls. Play with them with your fingers while working the cock with your mouth. Suck them into your mouth or lick the undersides while you work the penis with your hand. Just be careful, they're sensitive, and a sharp pain in the balls can end sexy time very quickly.

- DO pay attention the head of the penis, especially the underside. It is the most sensitive part of the penis. Lick the underside, suck the head (but not too hard), suck just that spot underneath, it's all good.

- DON'T be afraid to take a break. Blowjobs can be hard on your jaw, and sometimes they can take a long time. If you're getting tired, don't be scared to switch to a handjob, or to have your partner touch themselves and go back when you've had a little time to rest

- DO the twist. Once things are slick, twist your wrist so your hand slides around the cock, as well as up and down. You can do the same thing by twisting your mouth around the penis, or swirling your tongue around and up the sides as you slide your lips up and down.

- DO relax your throat. If you've ever chugged a beverage, you know what I mean. I learned how to do this while on the rugby team, not knowing it would translate over so well, but that feeling of swallowing without having to put your drink down and lower your head is the same feeling you want to have when trying to deep throat. There is a flap in the back of your throat. If you hit it, it sets off your gag reflex. I've found by thinking about swallowing or relaxing my throat I can put that flap up towards the roof of my mouth, and have the penis go down my throat under it, allowing me to take it all into my throat without gagging. It's something that takes practice, but if you'd like to try it, is totally doable. (though i will say there that it is completely possible to give a good blowjob without deep throating, so if you don't like it, don't do it.)

- DO try different positions to find something comfortable for you. Some people like being on their knees in front of the other person standing. Some like to be on their knees in front of a bed. I prefer laying on the bed between the other person's legs.Try everything out and find something that works for you.

- DO realize that traditional blowjob positions usually don't facilitate deep throating very well. Depending on the angle of your partner's penis, it can make it much harder. It is much easier if the penis is curving towards your mouth when you go to deep throat, and since most penis curves upwards, this involves getting a little creative (69 anyone?). Try this different angle if you're having trouble opening your throat.

So I think that's all the advice I have to give on oral sex (well on a penis anyway) for now. I really can't tell you how much I do enjoy giving them, and hope that with a little practice, and some simultaneous masturbation, you all can learn to love the blowjob too. Take it from miss cock sucking cleofaye, it's something they'll appreciate. So once again, I sign off saying when in doubt, just ask, and when you're unsatisfied, give direction.

3 comments:

  1. Fantastic post. Direct and to the point. I loved the bit about safe sex as a lengthy aside. I have tried using a condom during oral. Strangely enough, the guy was European. Anyway, it was an odd sensation. Thanks for this post. I, too, fancy myself an expert in the area.

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  2. Yeah, I was only attempting to put a condom on with my mouth, I couldn't even get that far. With the polyurethane ones, it's like licking varnish.

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  3. Great post - I love oral sex; giving, receiving and 69s. Will definitely rethink angles!!

    I always use a condom with penetrative sex, but hardly ever with oral sex. Even though I am less likely to 'do' oral with casual hook-ups.

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