Monday, August 3, 2009

Fingering

Ok, so we've covered the basics of handjobs, I feel like you all know what's next, Pussy!!!! But first a note on terminology. I'm all for using clinical terms and such, but I personally just don't like the words vulva and vagina, they're too clinical for me. There's no fun in saying the word vagina. I just reminds me of those horrible high school health classes in which the only thing a girl's vag was good for was facilitating male ejaculation, getting STD's, and popping out babies. I prefer the words pussy, chuff, and c word (you know, rhymes with runt) and occasionally the shortened "vag", though I know the c word is too harsh for a lot of girls, so this is the last time you'll ever see me reference it. I'm all about reclaiming that word, but everyone needs to do that on their own time. I suggest watching both "chasing amy" and "trainspotting" for immersion therapy. But anyway..all these words will be used and interchangeable here.

Feeling the inside of a girl is like nothing else I've ever experienced. It's warm and soft and in an indescribable way, distinctly alive. It's definitely something unforgettable. My first girlfriend, K, and I, were both new to being with girls when we got together. She was uncomfortable with me idea of being gone down on (more on that in thursday's post, a PSA on pussy love) so my fingers were all I had to work with for about a month. Neither of us really knew what we wanted, let alone what to do with the other. However, in that time we learned pretty quickly what got the other off... it only takes communication and some experimentation. However, like I've said before, not everyone likes what the person who taught you what to do likes, so approach each girl as a learning experience. However, I will say that for a lot of women, they would much rather skip finger fucking and go for oral, so see what your girl likes. If she likes penetration, go for it. If not, skip it.

Pussies are a varied as penises are. With some girls, you'll hit her cervix with your index fingers, others you won't even come close. Also, depending on the strength of her Kegal muscles, don't be surprised if you feel a vise grip as she comes. Some girls get looser as they come, some will barely allow more then one finger in at a time, regardless of how many times they get off. They also can look a million different ways, but again, that's something I'm saving for thursday's entry. So... the do's and don't of fingering pussy.... here we go!

- For god's sake! DO trim your nails. I don't care if you're a boy or a girl, well manicured nails are a sign of a considerate sex partner. No jagged edges, no rough cuticles. The nail file is your best friend. The last thing you want to do is cut or scratch a girl's insides. Not only will you put her out of commission for at least a few days, that shit itches like nobody's business.

- DO WASH YOUR HANDS. Even if you are well manicured, you could give a girl a yeast infection with your dirty ass hands. Play is safe and wash with soap and make sure to rinse well before you start.

- DO skip this if you're hands are very rough. I've mentioned getting ripped open before, and it is one of the most painful things you can do to a girl. If you know you have rough, scaly hands, invest in a dildo and some heavy duty hand cream asap.

- DO have dry hands. I don't know why guys think wet hands are a good idea, it only washes away a girl's natural lube and makes things harder.

- DON'T be surprised if her juices change over the course of the month. This is especially true for girls who aren't on the pill. As your hormone levels change, so does the consistency, smell, and sometimes amount of lube coming from the vag. As long as she's not in pain, or itchy, it's normal and just go with it.

- DON'T make comments about how wet/dry someone is. Most girls can get self conscious about this, don't make it worse. If the girl's going to leave a puddle on your bed, 1. you get to sleep in it (sorry, sucks, but that's just the rule) 2. view it as evidence of a job well done. If she's a little on the dry side, this could be nerves, but it could also just be her natural amount, a little lube never hurts.

- DON'T just thrust in and out. We could get that from your penis. Your fingers are articulated, use that to your advantage. Fingers can do things penises never will.

- DO stop if you see blood. It seems like common sense, but check with her, it could be an early start if her period is due in the next day or so (which can be jump started by the contractions caused by orgasms), but it could be a sign you've caused some damage.

- DON'T go anywhere near the clit with dry fingers. Use some lube or just her own juices, but dry skin dragging across the clit is never a pleasant feeling. Also, don't pull up her clit hood, it can be very painful, depending on the girl, so play it safe.

- DO find the g spot! Two knuckles in, about eleven o clock. Learn it, live it, love it! Granted, that's true for most girls, but not all.... just stick your fingers in, palm up (if she's on her back) and make a "come hither" kind of motion with your fingers. You should feel a patch that is slightly ridge-y or bumpy. That's it, just stroke it, and you're good to go. Be warned, if she's not used to it, g spot stimulation may make her feel like she has to pee. Just go with it. If you're really turned on, it's almost impossible to pee, same as a guy with a boner who can't pee until it goes down.

- DO vary it up. My ex, B, had the greatest hands of anyone I'd ever been with it. Granted, her long fingers helped, but more so it was the fact that she was constantly changing it up. With her two fingers she would spread them, hook both of them at the same time, or one at a time. I usually had no idea what the hell she was doing down there, but I did know that I loved it.

- DO back off if you hit her cervix. If you had long fingers or she has a shallow vag, you might hit her cervix when you thrust in. Getting your cervix banged into is an unpleasant feeling, and can it can actually be bruised (with the sensitivity changing over the course of her menstrual cycle), try to stay shallower to avoid hitting it.

- DO encourage her to make as much noise as she wants. It's an easy way to gauge how you're doing, and it's just hot! If you're living with your parents, or uptight roomies or something, have her scream into a pillow. I've found intense orgasms just aren't the same without a scratchy throat afterward.

- DO encourage her to play with herself. Focusing on playing with a girl's clit while finger fucking them is a bit too much multitasking for me. I also know that for me, my clit is very finicky, it needs a very specific sensation to get me to orgasm. It's just easier for me to do it myself. There is nothing better then teamwork, and it usually gets the girl to come much quicker. Also.... duh, you get to watch her play with her clit, always a good show.

- DON'T be afraid to incorporate toys. A bullet on her clit while stroking her g spot is heaven for a lot of girls. Bullets are small, quiet, and pack a powerful amount of stimulation in a small package.

- DON'T stick to the same position. Yes, girl on her back, you between her legs is an old standby, but try new things... her on her hands and knees, her legs hanging off the end of the bed with you on the floor, see what works... new positions mean new angles and potentially fun new spots to find.

So that's pussy 101 for your guys. Girl's can be harder to get off then guys, but with a little time, practice, and WELL GROOMED NAILS, it is totally doable. Again, I'm going to be talking about some of the issues girls have with their own chuffs in thursday's post, but just make sure you take into account that most girls are a little self conscious about their girly bits, so don't do anything stupid like say it smells or anything like that. I will personally come to punch you in the head for it. (I know, I know, I shouldn't threaten violence on my readers, but it's important!)

So go for it, take it slow if you're nervous. Play around, see what's comfortable for the both of you. So that's what I've got for you, this is cleofaye saying there needs to be more pussy love in the world, and as always, when in doubt, just ask, and when you're unsatisfied, give direction.

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